How do you say it?

Adam is a smart and intelligent boy. He has a great amount of interest in most things and wants to constantly learn. He is also known to be quite stubborn and at times, very envious.

What do you think about Adam? Do you think he is likeable? Do you think you might want to spend a day with him?

Ben is known to be quite stubborn and envious. He is constantly poking and prodding at things since he has an appetite to learn. As a result, he is a smart and intelligent boy.

Now, what do you think about Ben?

Most people would like Adam but not Ben. While the characteristics mentioned therein are exactly the same.

For Adam, the fact that ‘smart and intelligent’ was mentioned first created a ‘Halo Effect’. Once this halo has been created, every other defect that he had was seen through that prism and measured in that manner. Ben, unfortunately, has to deal with the Halo of ‘stubborn and envious’.

Due to the quirks of human thinking, we tend to pay more attention to what is put first in front of us.

Always lead with your strength, not with your weakness. How you say it matters more than what you say.